free support and gratitude (was: Re: -RO causes an error)

[Fairlight]

With neither thought nor caution, Laura Brody blurted:
> Quoting Dennis Malen <dmalen at malen.com>:
> 
> > I'm surprised Ken Brody has not responded. He should know the answer.
> 
>    I think that you need to be reminded that Ken's job is to
> write C code for fP Tech, not to give everyone on this list
> free and almost instant filePro technical support. It has
> gotten to the point were his help is not appreciated, but
> simply expected -- people actually get annoyed that Ken hasn't
> posted a solution to their problem within minutes of it appearing
> on the mailing list.

I don't think there's an -excuse-, but I do think there's a reason.

Over the years, increasingly, I've heard stories of people (some even on
the advisory council) that submit problems through official support
channels, wait days, weeks, even months, and the problem has not only not
been solved--it hasn't even been remembered or notated internally at
fP-Tech.  Even when given to them both on the phone -and- in email.

Given access to Ken here, and his quality of participation (extremely
high), versus fP-Tech's history of support through official channels, which
has been described to me as "a black hole--you put something in, you never
hear about it again" (low to very low from the sounds of it), I can guess
why people "expect" Ken to answer:

1) He usually does, to his credit.

2) He's usually the person most conversant with any given issue, since he's 
   lead developer.

3) Official support often doesn't.

So if one wants timely results, which known quantity do you choose?
Ignoring ettiquette, manners, and gentility in general, when it comes to
the "bottom-liners" who Simply Can Not Wait, the choice becomes quite
obvious.

All of which is understandable--maybe even forgivable.

The lack of gratitude is not.  However, it's unfortunately a bleak and
deprressing reminder of the times in which we live.  I think that some
sincerely do appreciate the help.  I think some think it's his job, and
they're just short-circuiting red-tape that doesn't even work properly.
And then I think there are those perma-leeches that take and take and take
some more until someone says, "No, you're done."  A few names come to mind,
and they're usually the most technically clueless -and- the most socially
inept at expressing any appreciation for what service they get from
whomever gives it.  And given that I've seen Ken beat his head against the
thickest brick wall on the list that I can think of without losing his
temper or patience, it tends to encourage "users" (as in, "You're being
used," not, "A user of computers").  It's enabling behaviour.

If Ken's displeased or doesn't -want- to handle it, he shouldn't.  He's not
the type to be rude about anything, so I don't think that's an issue we
have to worry about.  Getting him to say, "No," in the first place would
be a start.  I can think of one person that's gotten more than their fair
share lately from not only Ken, but at least three people (myself included)
in the fP Room.  And we all tolerate it publicly, smile, help to the very
best of our abilities, and then grouse about it in frustration after the
fact when they just vanish without even a decent word of thanks, since
we're now expendable cargo to be jettisoned--until they need help 10min
later.  (It's -happened-!!!)

Too much honesty may be a bad thing, but I don't think there's enough going
on in situations like this.

Bottom line:  If you're GOING to not only use, but abuse someone's good
will and get all your assistance for nothing, ad infinitum, ad nauseum, at
least have the f*cking human decency to THANK the people you're reaming.
Maybe even send them a tube of KY Jelly, if you're too damned cheap to do
anything else.  :)

Seriously, people--Laura has an excellent point on the gratitude, and I've
gone up against this myself.  And as with Ken, -usually- I don't say no.
I've gotten tighter about that lately though.  I only say no when it
becomes apparent they're a blatant "user"--then it's pay up or go away.
But considering some of us are in this because we like helping
people--hell, if it wasn't for my creditors, I'd do it for nothing.
Unfortunately, the world doesn't work that way.  Finances aside, the last
bit was to emphasise that some of us DO support to help people, for the
warm fuzzy feeling of having made a difference.  If you won't pay in
currency, pay in sincere thanks--or vice versa.  Show thanks -somehow-.
Asking a favour once in a while is fine, but perma-leeching is NOT.

And I don't think it's beyond reason for -anyone-, even Ken, to say, "No,"
when they feel someone's over-extended themselves, or if they're just plain
exhausted.  We have lives beyond our careers, folks.

All of which reminds me:

"I don't mind you being on the cuff, Dix, but you're halfway up my
sleeve!"  --Holographic bartender in ST:TNG

mark->
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