<OT> Humorous

[Ric Moore]

On Sat, 2007-03-24 at 21:07 -0600, Alma J Wetzker wrote:
> Ric Moore wrote:
> > On Fri, 2007-03-23 at 19:50 -0500, Ben Duncan wrote:
> >> Ric oughta get a charge outta this ..
> >>
> >> Broke my dipstick in my truck a few weeks back
> >> Ordered a new one from the dealership (specialty item) on
> >> Wednesday. They called yesterday for me to
> >> come get my "OIL level indicator apparatus" ..
> > 
> > Ha! I've spent most of the day bleeding out some decidedly cruddy
> > looking brake fluid from the Old Gal. I bought this little gadget that
> > claimed to make the job easy for one person to do. 
> > 
> > Right... a little hose attached to a bottle with a magnet that wouldn't
> > hold itself to the frame (the package claimed "Incredibly strong
> > magnet") I spend way too much time trying to dangle the little POS with
> > a tie wrap. A coke bottle and a bent clothes hanger would have worked
> > just as well. It's a 1977 fullsized Chevy pick-em-up, and that fluid was
> > really very nasty. 
> > 
> > Now, somewhere underneath Old Gal's skirts, between the 4 tires, I lost
> > my 3/8" combination wrench. You tell me where it went, I have looked
> > everywhere. <POOF!> It must have warped out to join the missing 1/2"
> > wrench that I always lose right off the bat. I've never found a cheap
> > 1/2" wrench in the loose tool bin in any pawn shop that I have checked.
> > In our Universe there is a black hole that sucks them in when we aren't
> > looking, and a white hole that spews them out into some faraway galaxy,
> > where we'll never see them again. <sigh>  Ric
> 
> The real problem is that the faraway galaxy that gets all our 1/2"
> wrenches is purely metric.

Just so everyone is not held in suspense, I found my own 3/8" wrench
after I lost the 3/8" wrench I borrowed from my friend Pete. Then I
found that one in my tool bag. 

I suspect that somewhere in the Universe, where those wrenches go, that
they monitor our emails and sent the tools back for fear of me
discovering them. I'd be afraid of that, if I were them. 

We'd spend 100 billion dollars that we would have spent on Iraq to
produce massive quantities of 3/8" and 1/2" combination wrenches to
scatter around the landscape for the black holes to retrieve. The aliens
on the white hole receiving end would have to ramp up their industrial
complex in order to produce the massive quantities of single blue socks
to send us, needed to maintain equilibrium in the Universe lest it all
go blooey. They'd go bankrupt and then we'd send them Donald Trump,
disguised as a 6 foot 1/2" combination wrench, to take the place over
and develop "Resorts Inter-Galactical". Learning the fine art of table
bussing would be their sole road to recovery after we got done with
them. 

Well, I'm on to your tricks space aliens. If I find that single blue
sock missing now, I'm calling on our "International Man of Mystery" to
sort this affair out. See if I don't. Ric  

-- 
================================================
My father, Victor Moore (Vic) used to say:
"There are two Great Sins in the world...
..the Sin of Ignorance, and the Sin of Stupidity.
Only the former may be overcome." R.I.P. Dad.
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