[OT] New workplace vocabulary

[Tim Wunder]

I'm trying to figure out how this post can even remotely be considered on 
topic, but can't. Sorry. This is blatantly Off Topic. Sue me...

Essential additions for the workplace vocabulary:

BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was 
missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps all 
over everything, and then leaves.

OSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and
advancement by kissing the boss' butt rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream 
only to get screwed and die in the end.

CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube 
farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch 
potato.

SITCOMS: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies 
turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay 
home with the kids.

IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but 
you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The Anna Nichol show or 
the Bachelor is a prime example.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the heck out of an
electronic device to get it to work again.

404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 
Not Found" (meaning that the requested document, like the person's 
brain, could not be located).

OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that
you've just made a BIG mistake.

WOOFYS: Well Off Older Folks.

CROP DUSTING: Surreptitious flatulence while passing thru a cube farm, 
or any other public place, then enjoying the sounds of dismay and 
disgust (this often leads to PRAIRIE DOGGING).

And lest we forget:

ANAL GLAUCOMA: Used as an excuse for not showing up for work. 
Translation:   "I just couldn't see my a** coming in to work today."

Anal Glaucoma is also a common disease where the retina temporarily 
connects to the rectum causing a crappy outlook on life.

-- 
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"It's what you learn after you know it all that counts" John Wooden
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