Legal aspects [was: anybody else see darl on teevee?]

[dep]

quoth Matthew Carpenter:

| I'd vote for that...  I've also thought about privatized lawyers
| becoming only a government employment opportunity, or imposing a 70%
| tax on privatized lawyers, or cap their income some other way.  If
| law wasn't such a lucrative profession, perhaps we would have less
| laws and less lawyers in politics.

one state recently passed a law that limited tort actions. the state bar 
association quickly swung into action, and it now seems likely that 
they will elect enough lawyers to the state legislature to rescind the 
law. numerous state bar associations are campaigning -- i have much of 
their literature -- to pack the legislatures with more lawyers. so, if 
there were laws to make vampir^h^h^h^h^h^h lawyerism less attractive, 
there would probably be a rush by the state bars to rescind them. or 
else, as is more frequently the case nowadays, the imperial judiciary 
would simply throw them out, as they have thrown out the first 
amendment for the month leading up to elections.

the solution overall comes in several forms: first, make it more 
difficult to become a lawyer. open the doors for those who seek the 
profession out of respect for and love of the law, but make it 
marginally less convenient for those who choose it because it's more 
financially lucrative than, say, accountancy or armed robbery. second, 
which is part of the first, retest them periodically -- say, every 
three years. and make it difficult for there to be cram courses, so 
they would actually have to be proficient in the law. third, take the 
resolution of issues of legal ethics out of the hands of the bar, and 
put them before a civilian review board instead, and at the same time 
greatly broaden the definition of unethical behavior. fourth, as long 
as we get to screw around with the first amendment, as the supreme 
court says we may, reinstitute the proscription of advertisements by 
lawyers. fifth, strip state and national bar associations of any power 
beyond that of a social organization. if lawyers want to unionize, 
great: let 'em face the same pressures other unions do. sixth, grant an 
automatic change of venue upon defendant's request in civil cases. 
sixth, ban contingency fees and establish what amounts to the english 
system in civil cases. (in that system, someone who has been wronged 
but who lacks the money to pay a lawyer appears before a panel of 
barristers and makes his case to them; if they conclude that he has a 
case, it is assigned to a lawyer who is paid per hour. there *is* a 
contingency fee in such cases, but it is paid to a fund from which the 
lawyers in such cases receive their hourly rate, which does not vary. 
and, of course, in english law, the loser pays the winner's legal 
fees.) sixth, in civil cases give the defendant the right to decide 
whether there will be a jury trial. seventh, establish a uniform 
schedule of fees for lawyers covering all but the hourly rate. this 
reduces the oodles of hidden charges that show up on legal bills. 
eighth, establish strict controls on lawyers' escrow and retainer 
accounts and fees. ninth, hold the law firm in addition to the 
plaintiff liable for costs and damages in nuisance, malicious, and 
other questionable lawsuits. tenth, modify the law of class action such 
that lawyers may be paid only an hourly rate.

of course, none of that will happen because the legal profession will 
not allow it to happen. and that sorry situation will continue to be 
the case until society as a whole comes to view lawyers in the same 
light that it views pedophiles, rapist-murderers, and the like. only 
this will force the legal profession to clean up its act, to return to 
the respectable position in society that -- it's true -- it once held. 
we have gone from john adams to john edwards, and it's time now to 
reverse the trend.
-- 
dep

It's remarkable how quickly a problem goes away once the people with
a vested interest in there being a problem go away. -- Mark Steyn